i permit you to call me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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