I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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