Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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