All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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