I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
