all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
