So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Success! We fucked roommates!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
