Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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