I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
