It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
