For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize