Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we're so committed to being not committed
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
