I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Boobs speak an international language.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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