exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
