Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
