He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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