NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
