I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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