actually, I'm a sock model
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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