so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize