remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
