margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
