We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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