Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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