someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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