I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
