I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
