I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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