now i know why i became what i already was.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
