YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
