So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
