You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
