I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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