No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
