Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
