I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
