I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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