I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
