I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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