Someone shit on the floor
Ketchup is God's man juice
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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