you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
