its not stalking. its research.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
