He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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