Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
