you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
