Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I AM VODKA MAN
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize