.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
