She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
