Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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