He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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