At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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