Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
