four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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