I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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