If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize