There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
