problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
