just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Send help, water and tortillas.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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