forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
