I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
