Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
