you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize