awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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