Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize