dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
