I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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