I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
