A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
