How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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